From the time my husband and I decided we wanted a child and then learned I was pregnant I have read as much as I could on every aspect of conception, pregnancy and raising a child. I wanted to find out how to increase my chances of conceiving. Once pregnant I wanted to know what was happening to my body, how my baby was developing and what to do to give my child every opportunity for the best start possible. From diet and exercise to labor methods to feeding options I read it all and analyzed which method would give my daughter the best start possible.
When my husband and I brought her home we intended her to sleep in a bassinet in our room. I wanted her to be close by for night time feedings and honestly I didn't want to let her out of my sight. I felt an overwhelming fear at being responsible for another human being. At 10:30 our first night home we went upstairs with our sleeping bundle of joy and placed her in the bassinet. My husband and I then got into bed, turned out the lights and the baby began to cry. Our dog jumped from her bed to the bassinet and began to whine. I got up, turned on the lights and picked up the baby. Tripping over the dog, I tried to sit on the bed to nurse her (after all, it worked well in the hospital). The dog immediately jumped on the bed and wanted to see what I was doing. My husband pushed the dog off the bed, baby got fed and back in the bassinet. I went back to bed and turned off the lights. She whimpered and I jumped up again. Nothing wrong, just making noise in her sleep. Back to bed. 15 minutes later another noise from the bassinet and I was up again. 5 minutes later the baby was in her nursery, sleeping soundly in her crib and I was back in bed asleep.
Lesson number one of motherhood: forget about what the books, your friends and relatives say, what you planned and follow your instincts. No new mother gets a good night of sleep, but I wasn't going to get any sleep with my daughter in the room. Every sound she made woke me up and I felt the need to check on her. A little distance worked well for us. She slept well and I slept as well as I could between feedings.
Advice from friends, relatives or books is just that: advice. If it sounds good, try it and see. It may work for you and your child, it may not. There isn't a set way to raise a child and what works for one parent may not work for another. In parenthood the end result is the most important, not necessarily how you got there. I find myself repeating that often when hearing about what children should or should not be doing. Schedules, sleeping through the night, starting solids, there is no right or wrong.
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